There are many reasons why a friendship can end. Sometimes people get involved in disagreements that they cannot resolve among themselves. In other cases, people go their own way. You may find yourself in a situation where, despite your best efforts, some friends are not willing or able to be friends with you any longer. These are sad moments, but it can happen to anyone. Remember that you have the power to let go of this situation and move on with your life.
Part 1 of 3: Try to let go
Step 1. Take time to grieve
Losing a friend can be very sad. Pretending nothing happened or suppressing the sadness you are experiencing may seem like a good idea in the short term, but this will eventually make it a lot harder to let go of the moment. Acknowledge that you have lost someone important and allow yourself to feel sad about this.
- Don't be afraid to cry. Crying can be a good way to channel emotions.
- Listening to sad music or watching a sad movie is a cathartic experience that will make you feel better after the misery. It reinforces the idea that you are not alone with such feelings and will give you hope that better times are ahead.
Step 2. Delete old messages
Try not to hold on to old text messages, messages, or emails to avoid re-reading them. Reading old messages over and over will only add to the sadness and loneliness after your friendship ends.
You might consider saving copies of old messages on a USB stick or external hard drive to keep with a friend or relative. There may come a time in the future when it will no longer be painful for you to reread old messages to reminisce about old times
Step 3. Remove or unfollow the person on social media
Seeing what your friends are up to online will only keep you thinking about the past instead of the future. You'll pick yourself up faster and be able to put the bad moment behind you faster if you're not constantly exposed to messages from old friends on Facebook.
Step 4. Delete photos
You don't necessarily have to delete old photos, although this is of course an option. Get rid of all the things that remind you of the friendship with the person in question. Think of souvenirs or gifts.
Step 5. Put your feelings on paper
A good way to give your feelings a place is to put them on paper. You may have questions about what went wrong or you may be angry with your friends. You can deal with these emotions by writing a letter to your friends, although they will not see this letter in the end. After you've written the letter, you can tear it up or keep it. The purpose of writing the letter is to deal with the feelings you are experiencing.
Step 6. Don't blame yourself
Don't see the situation as a reflection of who you are as a person. There are many reasons why friendships end. Even if you feel somewhat responsible for the person in question no longer wanting to be friends with you, understand that friendships are 50/50. You have no control over other people.
Part 2 of 3: Get help
Step 1. Visit a therapist
If you are having trouble letting go of the situation, it can be helpful to give these feelings a place in a professional setting. A well-trained therapist is able to listen to your side of the story about what went wrong in the friendship and can help you learn from mistakes.
Step 2. Call a family member
When you have a problem with a friend, sometimes it is wise to enlist the help of someone in your family. If possible, you could call someone who may have gone through the same thing in the past. This could be a parent or grandparent with more life experience than you, although each family member could provide tremendous support on their own.
Step 3. Consult friends who are not friends with the person in question
Seek support from people who don't know the boyfriend or girlfriend you no longer hang out with. They can listen to you and give an objective judgment about the situation. Make it clear to them that you really appreciate their support. Remember that despite the fact that you have lost a boyfriend or girlfriend, you are not completely without friends.
Step 4. Be mindful of mutual friendships
Mutual friends may not be the best people to turn to for support if you need help coming through the broken friendship. This puts shared friends in an awkward position. You also run the risk of alienating more people if others get the idea that you're trying to get them by your side. That said, you can still approach these friends for companionship. It can be a good way to see that people still care about you.
- Don't talk about the boyfriend or girlfriend who no longer wants to hang out with you.
- Try to focus on the things you still have in common with your current friends.
Step 5. Don't say bad things about the boyfriend you lost
It can be a very emotional moment when a boyfriend or girlfriend no longer wants to hang out with you. Avoid the temptation to say bad things about the person or to tarnish their reputation. When the emotions have subsided, you may both realize that the friendship can still be saved. Your bond may even be stronger after having a disagreement of this magnitude. You don't want to make the situation worse or reduce the chances of rebuilding the friendship by saying bad things about the other person.
Part 3 of 3: Moving on with your life
Step 1. Know that you will make new friends
Many people come and go in our lives. Your friendship may simply have ended. Try to see this as an empty space in your life that you can fill with new, stronger friendships.
Step 2. Be thankful
When a friendship ends, it's pretty easy to focus on the negatives. Make some sort of inventory of the things in your life that you are grateful for. List the names of the people you have a strong relationship with, the skills you have that you are proud of, the groups you belong to, and tasks you enjoy doing. Keep the list handy, for example in your wallet or purse, or hang it above your desk so you can always check it out if you feel lonely.
Step 3. Get out of the house
Sitting at home and dwelling on friendships that have come to an end will make it harder to let them go. If you find yourself spending too much time at home and feel sad about it, get out there. Go for a run in the open air or go to the gym. Go to a place where you are surrounded by other people, such as a coffee house, the library, or a concert.
Step 4. Start taking classes
Taking up a new hobby can be a good distraction and can help you meet new friends. Sign up for something you are interested in to keep yourself busy. Especially yoga or meditation in a group can be very useful when you experience a lot of stress. You could also participate in cooking or dance classes, or learn how to play a particular instrument.
Step 5. Do your favorite activities
Don't let broken friendships keep you from the activities you usually enjoy. Make sure to set aside extra time for the things you love to do and make yourself happy again. Read, play a video game, hang out with other friends, play an instrument. Keep yourself busy.
Step 6. Be patient
Repacking yourself after losing a friend takes time. While you may experience real feelings of loneliness and depression, realize that no feeling lasts forever and that as long as you take good care of yourself, you will find the strength to pick yourself up again.