While your best friend will undoubtedly find you a very nice person, you may not be the one for him or her. If you see the person in question often, it may seem impossible to get over the crush. This article will help you overcome the love you feel for your best friend.
Method 1 of 3: Get on with your life
Step 1. Don't dwell too long on the feelings in love
Don't spend too much time thinking about yourself or the situation. You probably think about him or her and then feel depressed. Make sure that you are not too preoccupied in your head with the person in question. Do fun things with other friends, try new recipes or experiment with art. Develop your talents and set goals for yourself.
Step 2. Exercise
Go to the gym and get some exercise. Distract yourself and feel better about yourself. When you exercise, your body produces endorphins and this substance makes you happier.
Step 3. Spend time with other friends
You know that you will meet the person in question again. After all, he or she is your best friend and you don't want to lose him or her. Try to spend less time with this person and more time with other people (especially friends you don't have feelings for). Go on a date with others and don't feel guilty towards your best friend because he or she doesn't date you.
Step 4. Have fun in your life
Try to see the funny side of things. Read humorous books, watch a funny movie or find hilarious videos on YouTube.
Step 5. Make yourself more attractive
Go for a new haircut or buy a new outfit. Make yourself more confident. Use this confidence boost as you search for other potential relationships instead of hoping that your best friend will suddenly like you.
Step 6. Convince yourself that at some point you will actually meet someone else
Don't forget that every pot has a lid.
Step 7. Don't give up
There are plenty of other people on this planet who do find you attractive and really want a relationship with you! If it has to go the way it has to go, that's the way it will go.
Method 2 of 3: Assess the relationship
Step 1. Accept that you will just be friends
Not everything can be fully recovered. Your best friend will behave normally in front of you even though you have feelings for him or her. You will struggle with this at first, but accepting this situation is critical if you want to keep the friendship.
Step 2. Be aware that the transition from friendship to relationship is not a natural next step
Although your best friend values your friendship and trusts you, it is quite possible that he/she is not physically attracted to you and not in love with you.
Step 3. Stop trying to be in love
Make a list of all the characteristics of the person that you find less attractive and that would be difficult during a relationship. Is the other person talking all the time while you are a quiet person? Does the other want to be freer than you? Love is blind, so try to open your eyes to reality.
Step 4. Let friendship come first
Try to imagine what it would be like if you started dating or dating and ended up with a broken relationship. The mutual bond you had will be damaged and chances are you will lose your best friend. Remember how important your friendship is to both of you.
Step 5. Try to learn from the experience
Do you feel like you did everything you could to turn the crush into dating? Would you have handled it differently? Learn from your successes and mistakes regarding the feelings you have or had for your best friend and use this knowledge in future situations.
Method 3 of 3: Keep the friendship with your best friend
Step 1. Don't get mad at the person
He or she probably won't understand how deep your feelings are for him or her. Your best friend has done nothing wrong and getting angry will only push him or her further away, causing irreparable damage to the friendship.
Step 2. Do not avoid the person in question
This will cause unnecessary damage to existing friendships.
Step #3. Keep your distance at first
You should not avoid the person in question, but try to spend less time with him or her so that you can give your feelings a place. If you don't, the time you spend with him or her will be tense and bittersweet.
Step 4. Ask for time for yourself
Tell the other person that you prefer not to be called, texted or e-mailed for the time being. Also indicate that you would rather not have him or her come to your home until you indicate that it is okay again. Your best friend needs to understand that you have to put your feelings away before you can be friends again. If you also had a strong bond before, you will no doubt be able to restore it.
Step 5. For now, avoid the usual places where you met
Find another place to work, take a route to a classroom, or don't go to the cafe where you often meet. This way, you're likely to meet the person less often, making it easier for you to put your feelings into place.
- Don't assume or automatically assume that he or she has feelings for you, you'll only hurt yourself.
- Friends come and go, but true friends remain. If you start dating a close boyfriend, there is always the chance that the relationship will end (studies have shown that the chances of relationships breaking down are high, and that this risk is even higher in young people). This could ruin a good friendship for good. If the person in question is a good friend (and remains your friend), this could be a lifelong friendship. Start with your own feelings and try to consider how any steps could affect your own well-being.
- It's not the end of the world. You may think that there is no one else as nice as him or her, but you will meet someone else at some point. Do not think that you can no longer be friends, you can agree to continue your friendship.
- In some cases it may be better not to tell the other person. After the moment you tell the other person, it is clear that you are in love with him or her, this may make it a lot more difficult to let go of the feelings.
- Only tell the people you really trust if it is absolutely necessary. If you tell someone who likes to gossip, the person you are in love with will also hear it and this may make him or her feel uncomfortable.
- If you don't have anyone to discuss the situation with, try writing it down in a journal. A journal can act as a good source of distraction, and it may help you put the situation in a new perspective. During this process, things may come to light about him or her that you previously missed, and these things can help you let go of the feelings.
- People deal with such situations in different ways. Some will feel the need to talk about it, others prefer not to say anything. As a person gets older and more mature, he or she may see that sometimes it's better to say no to avoid ruining a friendship. Sometimes it's just better to be thankful for what you have instead of revealing your feelings to others to avoid losing a close friend. Friendships change over time, and if you're patient, you may end up getting what you hoped for.
- If you're very sad after learning that the feelings aren't mutual, talk to someone you trust, such as a friend or counselor. Tell him or her how much you are sad and ask for advice. Bottling up such feelings can make you feel depressed and this will only make the situation worse.
- Remember that if the person liked you initially but changed his mind at the last minute, don't get mad at him or her or blame him or her. Your friendship must be strong enough to handle such a situation.
- Wait for the right moment to tell him or her that you are in love. However, if you don't want him or her to find out, don't tell anyone or act in a way that might show you have feelings for him or her.
- Make sure that you have let go of the feelings for the other person when you are together and not with the person in question. Sometimes you will find that you have let go of the feelings when you are not together, but immediately get feelings again when you spend time together again.
- Don't change yourself in an effort to be found more attractive by the other person. He or she will see you as fake and insecure and a person you can't have a good time with, even if you're friends.
- Try not to make the other person jealous. If he or she sees you as just a boyfriend/girlfriend, kissing another guy/girl won't do him or her much, and you'll be left with guilt and regret afterwards.
- If you decide to tell the other person, don't assume you know how the other person is going to react. This will make you seem pretty stupid to the other person. If your friendship is strong enough, it may affect your friendship less than you think.
- If you push too hard or show a lot of emotions, you'll probably argue over the smallest things. Give the other room if you haven't been able to give your feelings for him or her a place yet.
- Don't tell the person you're in love with him or her if you're sure he or she just wants to be friends. This could damage your friendship.
- Don't rush into eating sweets or other treats because of the sadness. You will only feel worse the next day if you do.