It is important to compliment your partner regularly to grow and keep your relationship strong. Mutual attraction is how relationships begin, but it takes work to perpetuate it. If you want to learn how to compliment someone (that's part of the job), you can learn what to say and how.
Part 1 of 2: Knowing what to say
Step 1. Compliment someone's appearance, but add something to it
Guys have a reputation for being shallow. If you think your loved one has a "beautiful body," that's great, but it doesn't necessarily have to be the first or most important thing you mention when your partner asks.
- Say something you noticed immediately, then switch to the other person's personality “The first thing I noticed about you are your eyes, but what I've come to love is your great sense of humor. I love how you can make me laugh.'
- When you compliment your partner's appearance, don't talk about body parts, such as the size of their "attributes." Instead, say, "You look gorgeous in that dress," or "I like the way you dance." Compliment the style choices she makes.
- Avoid using harsh words at all times. Don't use foul language for body parts. It's not funny, and it doesn't add anything to what you want to say.
Step 2. Compliment your partner's personality
Your partner wants to know why you like her, not why you're attracted to her. That means looking beyond the outside and complimenting your partner or crush on her inside. Here are some good tips:
- "I love how you handle difficult situations and stay cool."
- "I love how you interact with animals and are easy going."
- "I love how enthusiastic you are about music."
- "I love that you are a wonderful sister and a wonderful daughter to your family."
- "I love how you're always there for people who need help."
Step 3. Compliment your partner's intelligence
If you're attracted to your partner's mind, it's always good to compliment her on it. Compliment your partner on her intelligence and abilities.
- "I love how you care about the environment and your footprint in the world."
- "I love that you are a good student and committed to getting a good education."
- "I like that you're well-read and knowledgeable about many different things."
- 'I like that you are involved in politics and want to have an impact.'
Step 4. What do you find attractive about what your partner does?
What do you love about your partner's unique characteristics or skills? It's always nice to get these kind of specific and unique compliments:
- 'I love how hard you work. I have a lot of respect for that.'
- 'This cake is fantastic. I love your baking talent.'
- 'I like your sense of humor. You're so easy to get along with because you always make me laugh.'
- 'I love all your hobbies. You are so talented and use your free time very wisely.'
Step 5. Talk about how your partner makes you feel
Compliments always seem more sincere and valuable when they link to your feelings, personal response, and relationship. It is always better than a compliment that can be given to anyone.
- 'I enjoy your presence. I love you.'
- "You're exciting and I love that."
- "I love the way you make me laugh."
- "I love that we can do nothing together, and that it's still exciting."
Step 6. Be as specific as possible
Compliments shouldn't sound like you picked them off the internet. If you want your compliments to sound genuine, make them specific to your partner and use a lot of details to make them really mean something. How can you compliment her? Compliment your partner.
- Instead of saying, 'I love your body,' you say, 'I like the way you walk and move. When we're walking through the park and it's windy, you put your hair up and just keep walking, and I love the way you're doing that.'
- Instead of saying, 'I like your personality,' you say, 'I like the way you react when someone says something offensive and you get wobbly and give me a knowing look. I feel like we are very close at that moment.”
- Instead of saying, "I love your sense of humor," say something funny to her to share your sense of humor together. Say something like, "I love it when you eat peanut butter right out of the jar when you think no one is looking." I find that very exciting," or something else that makes her laugh.
Step 7. Just tell the truth
Girls are not looking for anything specific when they ask this question other than the truth. If you like a girl because she makes you laugh, tell her. If you like a girl for her legs, say so. If you like someone, give them the respect they deserve by telling them honestly and specifically what you like about that person. It's not a test you have to pass. It's a fair question and a chance to get closer.
Part 2 of 2: Knowing how to give a compliment
Step 1. Give compliments without being asked
If someone asks you this question, you may not come up with a compliment often enough, or you may be mishandling it. You shouldn't compliment because you're in trouble, or because you're being asked to. Compliment the other person only because you want to.
- When is the right time for a compliment? Every moment. If the conversation falters and you don't know what to say for a while, a good compliment will always be appreciated.
- If you're just giving people a compliment as an apology, then you should try to be more emotionally present in your relationship. Think more about your partner's feelings.
Step 2. Compliment often, but not too often
A few compliments a week will be appreciated, but if you're just talking about how much your partner means to you and what you love about every little thing, you'll come across more like a drip than a boyfriend. A few well-timed compliments are better than a steady stream.
A good rule of thumb? Wait until it looks like your partner might need it, but then offer something extra every now and then just for that
Step 3. Compliment your partner at the right time
The best way to give a compliment is to make it seem like you've noticed something and involuntarily say something about it before you've had a chance to think about it. If your partner does something you love, compliment them right away. If you suddenly think, "Gosh, her eyes look amazing today," compliment it. The best time is now.
Step 4. Give compliments even when you're not around
An unexpected compliment can be a great daytime treat. Sure, you can overdo it and get gooey, but a few random compliments can be a great way to show your partner that you care.
- Text compliments sometime in the day.
- Leave short notes in your partner's inbox or on the fridge at home.
- If you have a computer handy, open a chat window with a random reminder throughout the day. It will mean a lot to her.
Step 5. Switch it up a bit
If you always tell your partner that her bottom looks great in those jeans, it won't mean anything in the end. Just as you don't want to eat the same sandwich every day for a year, no one wants the exact same conversation fifty times a month, especially with your partner. So switch it up a bit. Give compliments and appreciation every time you are together about completely different things. It will help make your relationship stronger.
- Try some exercise when you're alone. This way it won't come as a surprise when she asks, and you won't have to stutter.
- Always look her in the eye when you answer her question.
- Be honest. Girls like men with an honest heart.
- Feel free to ask her this question in turn (after you answer her question, of course). She may even have asked you about it, just so you would ask her!
- Think about why you're with her in the first place. Is it her sense of humor? Or maybe her ability to gather a lot of friends around her.
- Be prepared for this. She may ask you this tomorrow, without you having an answer ready.