It can be intimidating to start a conversation with someone, especially on a social media platform like Facebook. On Facebook you don't just run into people or see someone on the other side of the room, unless you are active in groups. However, it's best to start a conversation with a guy, especially if he first noticed you in a group. Whether you're out on a date, a new acquaintance, or a business connection, this article will help you get started.
Method 1 of 4: Starting a conversation with a guy to date him
Step #1. Look at his profile first
See what common interests you have before starting a conversation so you have something to talk about. If most of his profile is hidden, you can ask him about his favorite movie or book to start the conversation.
For example, you can say, "I see your profile is set to private, so I'm wondering why you're hiding your favorite book from people. What do you like to read?"
Step 2. Ask for help
Most people are happy to talk for a few minutes if you need help. So ask for help with any problem you have. If you don't actually have one, you can ask something about Facebook, such as the following: "I can't figure out how to create a new paragraph in a post without the post sending. Do you know how?"
Step 3. Ask for recommendations
If you're new to this area (or even if you're not), you can ask him to recommend some restaurants to get the conversation going.
Try asking a question like "Hi, I just moved here. Can you recommend a good Japanese or Thai restaurant in your area?" If he says yes, ask him to meet you there
Step 4. Pretend you recognize him
That is, ask him if you've met him before. You can name a place you visit often. He'll say "no," but you can move on from there.
For example, you can say, “Have I met you before? You look so familiar. Do you ever visit the Bakker Bart in the main street?”
Step 5. Make him laugh
People like to laugh, so you can attract him by making him laugh. The best jokes are the ones you connect with.
If you see that he is a fan of the same team as you, you can joke about how badly the team is doing, like “I saw you follow the local football club. They're doing so badly that I think even my kid's F's could beat them."
Step 6. Try a compliment
People like to hear good things about themselves. Pick something you see on his profile. It could be about his looks, but it doesn't have to be. Studies show compliments that aren't based on appearance actually work best.
You can say something about his taste in books: "You have really good taste in books! I also really liked The Ocean at the End of the Lane."
Method 2 of 4: Start a conversation to become friends
Step #1. Go through his profile first
Just like starting a conversation for dating, you should first check out his profile for common interests, even if you just want to be friends. If there is no public information on it, ask him about it.
Step 2. Keep it relaxed
If you just want an acquaintance, don't send out signals that you want something more.
In other words, you shouldn't flirt. You shouldn't say anything about his beautiful eyes if you just want to be friends
Step 3. Try to be clear
Say why you're connecting with that person and what you want: "Hi, I'm Jake and I'm looking for new friends in the area."
Step 4. Ask him questions about himself
People love to talk about themselves, so ask him what he likes and who he is.
For example, you could say, "Hi, I saw your profile today and it interested me. Can you tell me a little more about yourself?"
Step 5. Use open-ended questions
When you start a conversation, open-ended questions (questions that require more than a “yes” or “no” answer) help keep the conversation going.
For example, you shouldn't ask "Do you like books?" but “What books do you like?”
Step 6. Focus on common interests
If you both like basketball, focus on that.
For example, you can say, “Hi, I'm Ashley. I see you like basketball. I love it too. Are you at a club?”
Step 7. Try an unusual word like greeting
That is, try "hola" or "all good?" instead of "hi" or "hello". Studies by OkCupid show that someone is more likely to react to an unusual word.
Method 3 of 4: Starting a conversation for networking purposes
Step #1. Look at his profile first
It's always important to have as much detail as possible before starting a conversation with someone you don't know well. See where he works, what kind of work he does and where he lives. You can also look for similarities, such as similar interests or the fact that you both have two cats.
Step 2. Focus on your connections
That is, if you're approaching someone because they're a friend of a friend, or because someone they know suggested you chat, tell them.
For example, you can say, "I'm writing this to you because Jeff Grace of ABC Financials recommended that I contact you."
Step 3. Ask about his job
If you see that he is in a similar field, ask about the work he does.
For example, you can say, “Hi, I'm Jess. I see you also work in tech. I am new to the field, so I was wondering if I could ask you some questions about your work.”
Step 4. Connect the question to its location
That is, incorporate your location into it to start the conversation.
You can say, “Hi, I'm Beca. I'm new to Purmerend and I was wondering if you have some time to talk about IT jobs in this area."
Step 5. Be clear about what you want
If you're looking for connections, say so. If you're looking for companies that are looking for people, ask. Most people will help if you say what you want.
For example, you can say, “Hi, I just moved here and I want to expand my professional network in this area. Would you mind chatting with me for a few minutes?”
Method 4 of 4: Be attentive
Step 1. Always ask if the other person has time to chat
This means that you must ensure that you do not disturb. People can respond, but may not have time for a long conversation.
Step 2. Withdraw if the other person doesn't want to chat
If the other person makes it clear that they don't want to chat now, ask if they can chat later. If he says no, respect his wishes.
Step 3. Check your grammar
Most people don't like bad grammar. Also, if you're over 20, you should avoid "netspeak," such as "ff" for "even" or "d8" for "thought."
Step 4. Stop trying to make a call if he doesn't answer
If you send a few messages and he doesn't respond, stop trying to start a conversation, especially if your messages are read.