It can be very helpful to come across as completely emotionless. Controlling your emotions can help you gain the upper hand in negotiations, avoid confrontation, and appear calm. While it may seem like it's easy to hide your feelings, it takes a lot of practice to come across as completely emotionless. You have to get and keep full control of your facial expression, your movements and your words, all at the same time.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Learning to master nonverbal expressions
Step 1. Relax your eyes and mouth
The eyes and mouth can express a multitude of emotions. It is important to control them at all times. The best way to do this is to work on expressionlessness. A blank face is the look people use to keep others at a distance. You see this face around you in almost every crowded elevator. It's like a 'do not disturb' sign in front of your face.
- Take a moment to consciously relax the muscles in your face. You'll be amazed at how tense they can be, even if you're not experiencing any emotions.
- Poker players turn the expressionless poker face into an art form. Observe how poker players play without any indication of nervousness or excitement.
- Don't avoid eye contact. Avoiding eye contact can be seen as an emotional response. Just look at the person the same way you would look at a chair or a wall.
Step 2. Watch your movements
Subtle gestures can be very expressive, even if we are sometimes not aware of them. This is usually the hardest part of appearing emotionless, and no matter how hard you try, there will always be a small gesture that reveals something about how you feel.
- Try not to fidget, such as cracking your knuckles or biting your nails.
- Don't show tiredness, such as by rubbing your eyes or yawning.
- Tapping your feet can make you nervous.
- Looking at the ground too much can make you appear shy or sad.
- While most people can put on a poker face, even poker players' hands betray what they think and these are the main signals picked up by watchful eyes. Hesitant hand and arm movements can indicate fear, uncertainty, nervousness or excitement. Try to make only fluid and conscious movements. Don't move unless you want to. Then you move with determination and confidence.
Step 3. Maintain an emotionless attitude
Don't show any emotion by the way you stand or sit.
- Don't cross your arms. This can be considered defensive. Keep your arms relaxed and at your sides.
- Lean back in your chair. A relaxed and carefree attitude is the best way to show that you are not emotionally involved. It also helps to create more distance between you and the people around you. Leaning forward can give you an excited or excited look.
Part 2 of 3: Having emotionless conversations
Step 1. Speak from your logic
Channel your inner Spock and try to have conversations that express absolutely nothing about how you feel. For example, if you're out for dinner and someone asks how your burger is, tell them the meat is half-baked and a little greasy. Don't say it's delicious or gross, even if it isn't. Just give the facts.
If you're asked a question about how you feel or something that can't be answered with facts, the best way to avoid the question is to ask a question in return. You can also give a vague or ambiguous answer
Step 2. Speak somewhat monotonously
Pay attention to the tempo and pitch of your words. Raising your voice can be an indication of excitement or agitation. Speaking lower and slower can make you appear insecure or angry. Try speaking as if you were reading a manual out loud. Speaking dull, informative and without originality is the way to have distant conversations.
Step 3. Don't use emotional words
Many words are emotional. Some are obvious, while others express more subtle emotions. Obviously you don't want to say you're sad or happy, but you shouldn't say you're determined or calm or in doubt either. These words express emotional state as well.
Avoid using adjectives to describe words that express your feelings. Don't say a movie was exciting or romantic. Instead, you describe the film as action-packed or dramatic
Part 3 of 3: Dealing with your emotions
Step 1. Don't get too close to emotional people
People who are highly emotional can draw you into the drama of their lives and make it difficult to be completely emotionless. There's no need to cut ties with someone completely, but you may want to limit contact with your more emotional friends.
If you run into an emotional friend of yours somewhere, always have an excuse ready to politely end the conversation. Just indicate that you have some shopping to do or something like that
Step 2. Learn to accept things
An important part of being emotionless is not letting anything fool you. Once you come to realize that you don't have the ability to direct most of things anyway, those things may not bother you anymore. If you can let go of wanting to control things that happen, it will become much easier for you to accept things that don't go according to plan.
Step 3. Make yourself less sensitive
Going to violent television shows or movies is the way most people desensitize themselves. While many people believe that watching violent movies is harmful to the viewer, there is evidence that it can also make viewers apathetic towards people's pain and suffering. If you hope to avoid being affected by these kinds of emotions, watch more television.
Step 4. Look at money often
It may sound strange, but looking at money tends to make people more businesslike. Scientists have found evidence that looking at money will disapprove of outward displays of emotion or using emotional words to express our thoughts.
Step 5. Look for an outlet for your emotions
No matter how well you can bottle everything up, sometimes you have to let emotions run wild. Writing or making music are both good ways to relieve emotional pressure, while other people prefer to vent themselves by kickboxing. It doesn't matter which activity you choose, as long as you can let go of any turmoil you may be feeling in your own way, rather than being at the mercy of a sudden eruption in front of everyone.
Tips
- Don't get angry if someone calls you cold or indifferent. It just means that what you're doing works.
- Don't try to change yourself completely. You can still have the same interests, such as sports or anything else you enjoy. Just hide your emotions about it.
- Don't resort to self-harm as an emotional outlet. That makes you more emotional again because people can see the consequences.
- When you talk, keep it short and to the point.
- If people ask you if something is wrong, you can respond briefly with "no" or indicate that you are just tired, and if they keep asking, or don't believe you, change the subject.